Can the school hold an IEP meeting without me?

Only after real efforts to include you. The school must invite you early enough to attend, offer a time and place you both agree on, and offer another way to take part, such as a phone call, if you can’t come. It can meet without you only if it can’t convince you to attend, and must document each attempt.

What to do

Check the meeting notice. It has to say the purpose, time, and location of the meeting and who will be there.
34 CFR § 300.322(b)(1)
If the time does not work, reply in writing with times that do. The meeting is supposed to be at a mutually agreed time and place.
34 CFR § 300.322(a)(2)
If you can’t be there in person, ask to join by phone or video call.
34 CFR §§ 300.322(c), 300.328
If a meeting already happened without you, ask in writing for the school’s records of its attempts to reach you, and for a meeting to go over any decisions with you there.
34 CFR § 300.322(d)

What the law says

The school must take steps to make sure one or both parents are present or have the chance to participate, including notifying you early enough and scheduling at a mutually agreed time and place.
34 CFR § 300.322(a)
If neither parent can attend, the school must use other ways to include you, such as individual or conference phone calls.
34 CFR § 300.322(c)
You and the school may agree to hold IEP meetings by video conference or conference call.
34 CFR § 300.328
A meeting may be held without a parent only if the school is unable to convince the parents to attend, and it must keep detailed records of its attempts — phone calls, correspondence, and visits.
34 CFR § 300.322(d)
Parents must have the opportunity to participate in meetings about their child’s identification, evaluation, placement, and services — but informal staff conversations and staff preparation for a later meeting do not count as meetings.
34 CFR § 300.501(b)

Want the full picture of your rights?

Read Your Federal Rights

Common questions

Which meetings do I have the right to attend?

Meetings about your child’s identification, evaluation, placement, or services. Informal chats between staff, lesson planning, and staff getting a proposal ready to discuss with you later are not meetings you must be invited to.

The meeting is during my work hours. Do I have to take time off?

Not necessarily. Tell the school in writing which times work for you and that you want to take part. The rules expect a time you both agree on. If you still cannot attend, the school must offer another way to take part, such as a phone call, and a video call is an option if you and the school agree.

What if the team made decisions without me?

Ask for the records of how they tried to reach you and a copy of what was decided. If the attempts do not match your experience — no call, a notice that arrived late — say so in writing and ask to revisit the decisions with you in the room. Your state’s parent training center can help you plan the next step.